ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Randomize
