i wish there were pregnant emoticons
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
