All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
