Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
