the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
