she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize
