I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
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