The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
