Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
how does that bad decision feel?
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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