there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
Sacagawea was the original milf.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
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