I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
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