Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
