I wish I could punch you in the face.
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
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