and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Randomize
