Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
God, I missed his penis.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
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