i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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