I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
