His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
