Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
