So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
