i don't plan on having that self control this summer
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Randomize
