are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
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