Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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