That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
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