I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Randomize
