i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Randomize
