I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
