Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Randomize
