Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
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