are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
So vagazzling was a success
I am available for nakedness
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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