So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
Is Oprah even human
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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