You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
