Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
