A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
it wasn't lemon gatorade
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
I've got a whole match.com system. Triple book. First dates always get the 6pm happy hour drinks slot. 8pm dinner goes to a girl where I think I can close the deal. 10pm slot goes to the sure thing in case of emergency, but 6 can always trump 8 and 8 always trumps 10. Just blame it on a dead iPhone battery.
That, my friend, is how I bang 50 new girls a year. Not luck at all. It's science and statistics.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
Randomize
