I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
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