if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
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