Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Randomize
