The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
