I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
