Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Randomize
