I hate all girls vehemently.
This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
