Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

Sorry hpoon hasn't picked any favorites yet.

ADVERTISEMENT

(773): View more from Illinois

In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on

Fav 2 1062 1057
share tweet
(347): View more from New York

A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!

Fav 16 1343 1584
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(608): View more from Wisconsin

This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?

Fav 108 1663 5105
share tweet
(614): View more from Ohio

hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked

Fav 15 1271 4182
share tweet
(917): View more from New York City

Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.

Fav 9 3789 1991
share tweet
(785): View more from Kansas

I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man

Fav 10 2984 997
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(717): View more from Pennsylvania

he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.

Fav 9 5163 1144
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(817): View more from Texas

I think that's mostly how we became friends.

(1-817): View more from Texas

Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.

Fav 9 2083 742
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(540): View more from Virginia

Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....

Fav 0 46 7
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT