i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
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