just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
