Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
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