Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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