And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Randomize
