Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
