think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Randomize
