I can tuck mytits in my pants
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
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